As I sit down to write, my heart is very filled with
emotion. I am normally a very private
person who keeps things to myself, but we have been so touched by the
outpouring of love, concern and especially prayers by our family, friends and
people we don't even know that I felt strongly that I needed to share our
experience in hopes of strengthening others as we have been strengthened by
you. We all have trials and we all need
each other to strengthen us when our knees are weak and we are hardly able to
stand. Thank you everyone for giving us
that strength to stand when we were so very weak.
Several years ago
my father told me a story that has had a profound effect upon me. A tree
grew at our local church building. It
was a beautifully shaped tree that was full of life.
One day the
beautiful tree simply fell over.
Astonished and puzzled over what had happened and lamenting over the
loss of the tree, a neighbor asked the gardener what had brought it down.
“No roots,” he said.
Everything it needed was in easy reach and the roots didn’t
develop. Without a deep root system, it
couldn’t hold itself up.”
I have thought a
lot about this story lately and especially in regards to what has happened over
the last two weeks. I had to really
examine how deep my roots of faith went and had to trust in God, even when it
was extremely difficult and we did not know the outcome. It was ultimately our faith that sustained us
to not fall and to remain strong in such a very difficult time.
Here is our story:
Saturday, September
21, 2013 David, Clarissa and I joined my family in running a 5K run in Provo,
Utah. We run races all the time and this
was nothing new especially for David.
David is an avid runner and can run 5K runs quite quickly. I was going to walk to help with the little
one. My niece, Ellie, who is eight years
old really wanted to run the race but most of the adults except David were
going to walk to help with the "little runners." David happily consented to run with her and I
believe this was the first of many miracles that saved his life. David could have exerted himself much more
than he did, but because he held way back and ran with Ellie he was spared from
heavy exertion and sweating. Looking
back and knowing what I do now, had he ran at full capacity like he normally
would have he might have collapsed and died at the race.
Interestingly,
Ellie had her own set of trials the same time David was sick. Ellie had surgery to remove a lesion on her scalp. The doctors were very worried and thought it
was most likely a very serious form of melanoma. Many prayers were offered in her behalf and
the results came back favorable. It
wasn't as serious as first thought which was a miracle in and of itself. We are so grateful for this outcome.
After the race we
went home and David took a nap. He woke
up not feeling good and by the night time was very fatigued and starting to
feel very sick to his stomach.
Over the course of
the next few days his symptoms worsened and he seemed to have a very bad case
of the stomach flu. After throwing up
and not feeling good for several days, I took him to the doctor on
Tuesday. The doctor said it was the
stomach flu, gave him some medicine and told him the flu was going around and
it could last seven to ten days. He
cautioned us that if he kept throwing up to go to the ER for some fluids as he
might get dehydrated.
Tuesday night David
threw up every twenty minutes the entire night so by morning he was so weak and
ill I could barely get him out to the car to drive him to the ER. We arrived at the ER fully expecting to have him get a few liters of IV
fluids and he would be fine. We had no
idea that he would soon be fighting for his life in extremely critical
condition.
Upon arriving at
the ER, they started him on IV fluids and took some blood. About twenty minutes later, the doctor came
into our room and said, "David is not going anywhere. We are going to admit him right away." He was then taken to the ICU in the
hospital. His sodium levels were critically
low. Normal levels are between
135-140. The doctor told us that he
usually admits people to the hospital at 120 and they are usually having
seizures and in a coma. David's level
was 103. The ER doctor, who was an older
gentleman who had probably been practicing for many years said, "I have
never seen a sodium level this low. I am
surprised you are not having seizures."
This was alarming
news. It was very unexpected and quite frightening. The doctors at first weren't quite sure what
was causing his sodium levels to be so low but whatever the cause at that
moment they needed to get his levels up.
David's condition began to deteriorate quite quickly. There was a challenge however. The doctors could not raise his sodium levels
too fast because if the levels were
raised too quickly he could get what is called demyelination of the brain which
is literally the brain falling apart or separating. If this happens it is very serious and often
deadly. They could only raise the sodium
levels from six to ten points per day safely in order to prevent demyelination from occurring.
The next day and a
half David's body did not respond to the medication to increase his sodium
levels. His levels were still at 105, a
very critical level. During this time
there were many tests done and the doctors discovered that he had Addison's disease
and that he was having an Addisonian Crisis.
I was very grateful
to have a diagnosis, but I was, however, very worried as David's condition
continued to worsen rapidly.
Throughout the span
of the next day, David's sodium levels jumped from 108 to 127. The sharp unexplained increase was very
alarming to the doctors, nurses and to me as it could very likely mean
demyelization of the brain. The doctors
were quite concerned about this.
David did begin to
show signs of demyelination. I don't
know quite how to explain my feelings as I saw this happen to his body. I thought my heart would break. He deteriorated quickly. His speech became slow and slurred. His eyes became glazed over and one could see
he was very ill. Tears aren't adequate enough to express the pain I
was feeling. I was completely and
utterly helpless and all I could do was trust in the doctors and especially in
Heaven but I must admit, it was very difficult.
On Sunday,
September 29, 2013, in the afternoon, David's condition became very
critical. I was alone with him in his
room, silently praying. In my
desperation I began to plead for prayers from all of you. The doctor came in and examined him. David was very slow to respond if responsive
at all. After examining him, the doctor
pulled me aside and told me to prepare myself for the worst; he may not make
it. The doctor could not promise any
good outcome as he had all the signs of demyelination.
I had every reason to
believe what the doctors were telling me. I had seen what death looked like
before. Thirteen years ago I was in the
hospital with my mother. She was in the
final stages of breast cancer and was in the same condition as David was in
--non-responsive. She ultimately passed
away.
I thought I would
literally collapse into a heap on the floor hearing these words from the
doctor. The thought of being without
David and moving forward without him pulled every heart string I had and is
beyond my capacity to describe. I was
in a pitiful condition both physically, emotionally and spiritually.
It was a miracle on
my behalf in that at that exact moment when I was ready to collapse into a heap,
our church leaders--our stake president and his counselor came. It was not by coincidence. They came at the perfect moment to hold me
up. They were literally angels sent to
me to strengthen me in my darkest hour.
I finally gained
composure and felt strengthened by them.
They then gave David a very sacred and powerful Priesthood blessing that
gave me hope and courage to move forward.
As they were giving David the blessing I couldn't help but think of the
New Testament and how Jesus laid his hands upon many and they were healed. He later gave that Priesthood authority to
his Apostles and they too were able to heal the sick. How grateful I was that, that same Priesthood
power had been given to worthy men in our day and it could heal just as it
healed others anciently. I earnestly pled
that the blessing of healing would be granted to David.
David's condition
remained extremely critical but I had to leave for a while because as much as I
wanted to be with David, I still had to be a mother to Clarissa and she needed
me. She was struggling at home with no
naps and a different environment and schedule.
I will be forever grateful for those who were taking care of her. I knew she was in good hands but she need Mommy. I was so torn trying to juggle my time,
energy, and strength between two people I love dearly. It was taking a toll on me in many ways. As much as I needed and wanted to sleep and
eat it had been days now since I had rested or had something really to
eat. It wasn't because I didn't want to
sleep or eat it was because my stomach
was in knots and my mind would not rest to allow me to sleep.
I went home
literally commending my dear husband into the hands of the Lord while I went
home to tend to my dear daughter. Not
long after being home, I received a call from the doctor telling me to come to
the hospital NOW! I had received a
similar phone call when my mother was critically ill in the hospital and we
didn't get to the hospital in time before she passed away. I knew what I had to prepare myself for but
pleaded with the Lord for a different outcome and the faith to make it happen. It was one of the longest drives of my life
to the hospital. Trembling, I entered
the ICU unit barely able to think or walk.
They had taken David to get an MRI of the brain. This would show how much demyelization he had
of the brain. When the results came back
I think it shocked the doctors as well as all those taking care of him. It showed no signs of demyelination.
Over the course of
the next several hours miracles began to happen. Many tender and sacred things occurred that
allowed me to know God is not far, prayers are heard, the Priesthood of God is
real and those who hold it have incredible power, angels really do minister to
us here and miracles have not ceased.
It wasn't until
later that I learned of the incredible outpouring of prayers in David's behalf
at the exact moment when his life was hanging by a thread. After David was given the priesthood
blessing, the first counselor in our stake presidency, who is also in our ward congregation,
went back to our ward, which was still in session and gathered all the members
and asked them to extend their fast and pray for David. Also so many others saw my pleadings for
prayers in his behalf and began to
pray. A dear friend wrote me later and said,
"On Sunday
night when I read your plea for prayers, I went to my room and started praying
for your husband. I immediately felt like
I had tapped into some kind of spiritual current. It made me think of those old "party
lines" you hear of back in the old days, where phones in multiple houses
all connected and everyone could hear everyone else. I know hundreds of people were praying for
the same things as I was, and I could feel everyone's faith. It was a really spiritual moment for me. I don't think I will ever forget it."
It is not possible
to put into words my feelings. My faith
alone could not have saved David's life and I mean that literally. I realized more than ever how we need each
other to make it through this life.
I was recently
reading in Mark 6:47-51 in the Bible.
This scripture passage is where the disciples of Christ are in a ship on
the Sea of Galilee and a big storm arises.
The disciples began to toil and struggle. Jesus was on the shore and saw them toiling
and rowing. The wind was blowing
contrary to where they wanted to go. It
seemed Jesus watched the disciples from the shore for sometime fully aware of
their struggles. Then about the fourth
watch, Jesus went unto them.
These passages of
scripture really touched my heart. The
Lord usually does not come to us in our struggles until the forth watch or
right before morning--meaning He lets us struggle all night until the night
seems too hard to take and the darkness is about to overcome us. And yet through it all Jesus has his eye on us from the shore as we
struggle in the storm and just when we feel we are going to sink with despair
He comes unto us. It is interesting to
note that Jesus came unto his disciples but He would have passed them by had they not cried out to Him.
I felt exactly like
this. The night and storm of the last
two weeks seemed long and I was so weak I literally thought I was beginning to
sink, but at the most critical moment when it seemed David was not going to
make it, the Lord came to me and gave me peace.
In my darkest hour, I came to know the Lord.
It has been a
sobering experience. Three days after I
received the phone call from the doctor telling me David wasn't going to make
it, he walked out of the hospital on his own power. There is no other word than Miracle!
I am so grateful
David's life was spared. I am keenly
aware that life is fragile and that lives aren't always spared even with a lot
of faith, as was in the case with my mother.
So I am eternally grateful for the tender mercy that David's life was
spared. There are not words just awe and
gratitude.
David still has a
road to recovery but is doing quite well considering the circumstances he was
in. To all those who have prayed,
provided meals, service and concern there aren't words to adequately express
our thanks. David and I have prayed many
many times for the Lord's riches blessings to be with those who have been
praying for us. We love you!
